Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
