I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
