please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
