There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
