I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
