He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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