pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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