You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
