you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
