I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
