my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
