We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
