margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
