My liver just broke up with me...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
