i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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