I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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