I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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