yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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