I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
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What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
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I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My bed smells like the plague
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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