Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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