I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
