I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
