Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize