it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
