I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
