He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
