so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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