fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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