The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
