Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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