Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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