That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
