im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
