My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
