it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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