Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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