I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
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Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize