imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
