When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
