White coat. Heels.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
