You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
