she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So much rum. So many feels.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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