I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
