I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
