Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
