all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
