I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
