I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
