She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
