3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
