Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added

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(770): View more from Georgia

Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.

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(323): View more from California

Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits

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(218): View more from Minnesota

the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up

(701): View more from North Dakota

Shania Twain would have been proud

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(260): View more from Indiana

He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol

(651): View more from Minnesota

Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?

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