whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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