I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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