I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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