i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Someone came in the potted fern
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
