You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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