someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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