If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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