We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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