apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
