Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize